Follow Me on Pinterest

The Perspective of a Chemical Engineer

Coming back from Dallas last week I inadvertently made brief eye contact with a fellow Vegas bound passenger in the terminal.  Before I could look away this West Texas charmer started to chat – as if he wasn’t aware of social convention or maybe he had started throwing caution to the wind before even boarding his Vegas flight.  But with only a few minutes to boarding I overlooked being caught off guard and chatted back.  I found out first that this gentleman teaches Sunday school in a town of 80,000 near Shreveport.  He was very excited that for Easter, while there were three services, there would be no Sunday school.  This was his chance to escape…to Las Vegas.  Let that sit for a minute.

During the conversation I mostly practiced my active listening.  He talked about his friend from grade school that he was meeting at the El Cortez, because that is where locals go.  He looked to me to confirm this…I have never been there, but I think it is attended primarily by locals so I nodded along.  The conversation meandered around to his job…a chemical engineer.

Before I could censor myself, out popped, “Do you worry about your health?”

Well, didn’t my perspective became clear and tangible?

Mr. Sunday School Teaching Chemical Engineer: “My health? No.  They tell us everything is fine and we have a longer life expectancy than most people.  We think chemicals are good.”

My social senses kicked in and I didn’t pursue this any further, though the conversation turned to travel and I found out that his company is based in Tennessee and he goes there for training since he works in the health and safety division.

Boarding started about this time.  He was very nice and so very sincere.

Every now and then something happens that really makes me call my perspective into question.  This did.  Largely because this man was so very sincere.  My instinct was to think that there is some element of propaganda in use at the chemical company (an element of “drinking the kool-aid” that pretty much all companies and universities seem to have).  But I also considered that to there is some specific brain power – including reason – involved in becoming an engineer of any variety.   So, he theoretically wouldn’t accept being fed a line – or many – of bull.

Perspective is an interesting thing.   I am not one to think there is a capital T Truth out there.  I lean more to perception creating reality. Oh, I haven’t changed my opinion to thinking all chemicals are good – I know, as I suspect my travel partner does too – that there are poisonous chemicals and chemicals with hidden side effects.   There are also amazing, chemicals at work in medicine and everyday products.  In some ways I am envious of that engineer – I would like to have some way to evaluate the seemingly endless chemicals offered up everyday.

Regardless, it was nice to have something come into my life to make me thing about my perspective on chemicals in this fast food world.  Even if I come out of these types of moments with the same ideas I am glad to have had the chance to reevaluate.

Pilates

In my last post – on running of all things – I made mention of a post on Pilates.  And then I felt a bit daunted.  Over the past decade Pilates has gone from a relatively unknown form of exercise to an imprecisely used terms for core/ab workouts that encompass both what Joseph Pilates set out to teach 80+ years ago as well as variations that bear little resemblance to the original.  Pilates has meant so much to me and done such wonderful things for my body and health – I am not sure how to do it justice.  So, let me just tell my story about Pilates.

Many moons ago, in the year 2001, I interned at Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival. A phenomenal summer – everything about The Pillow is magic.  And I don’t use that word much – I am too pragmatic for that – but it is true for this place that feels historical, artistic, alive, and contemplative all at once.  The grounds were first used by choreographer Ted Shawn and his group of male dancers in the early 1900’s.  Around the same time, Joseph Pilates’ very stringent exercise method was taking hold in the NYC dance community.  With members of the dance world being in both places, Pilates the man (who has a fascinating story!) and the system came to The Pillow.  Lo, many decades later I learned about this system that revolved around control, breath, strength…you can see why it appealed to dancers.  At that time Romana Kryzanowska was one of, if not the only, remaining original student of Joseph Pilates.  I bought her workout on VHS about 9 months after leaving The Pillow while seeking some form of exercise I didn’t dread.

Turns out I loved the work – stretching, becoming noticeably stronger, following a regimented routine…those things all drew me in.  I read Pilates original texts (sort of a hoot in terms of being propaganda for the system and very much of their time).  I  found a teacher who had studied with Romana.  Pam was her name and she graciously gave me a lesson once a month (rather than the preferred couple lessons per week!) as that was all a poor, soon-to-be graduate student could afford.  She taught me for 2 or 3 years that way.  With that instruction and the focus and drive to actually do the mat based exercises about 5 times a week, I practiced Pilates for about 6 years.  Something in my chemistry shifted when I was pregnant with Dante (because pregnancy changes everything…including what a body enjoys).  I started doing some more cardio and yoga and moving away from the Pilates workout.  Gradually I stopped working out entirely.  And then came my pregnancy with Gabriel.

After Gabriel was born (almost exactly 1 year ago!) and I was given the OK to exercise post C-section, I found a “classical Pilates” instructor in town.  I was craving exercise in some form and know classical Pilates could get me in shape – starting with getting back to being able to sit up using my then shredded abs.  I tried a neighborhood studio but couldn’t stomach the derivative ab workout that was offered under the name of Pilates.

Important to note is that there was a law suit in the early 2000’s over how the term Pilates can be used and it was ruled that it s a generic term like yoga or karate.  So, as with those other now very popular exercise forms, you really need to research your instructor.   A great place to find Pilates instructors is www.classicalpilates.net.  (The link goes to the directory but the main site is a great resource!) There I found my current instructor, Juliet.  I have been working with Juliet now since July and the difference in my strength, balance and overall feeling of well-being – in just 9 months – is amazing.  I do feel that Pilates made my body ready for running and helps it manage being a mama to two very active boys.  There really is some magic in this system – at least for me, but I really think it is there for anyone to discover.

If you think a workout based on creating long, lean muscles; increasing flexibility and balance; and focusing on a system of regimented exercises is for you, I hope you will look for a classical Pilates instructor in your area.  The difference between this focused instruction and group classes with a weekend-trainer teacher is amazing – you will see and feel your body in a whole new way and be amazed at what you can do.

Mile #1

This past Wednesday was so beautiful here – mid-seventies temps, gentle breeze.  A flock of butterflies has been born in the neighborhood that day.  True, I swear.  Couple all this with the fact that about two weeks ago I started jogging (running would be the wrong term) and it was a perfect day for a run.  Before I tell you about it though, let’s take a step back.

I have “started jogging” a few times in the last number of years.  I started because I wanted to lose weight, because I wanted to exercise, because in my soul I just want to BE a runner.  So you can see at least three time I have gone down this road.  And each time I found myself about two tenths of a mile from home in a gelatinous, puffing heap.  I joked that I really only ran if chased and the truth wasn’t far from that.

This time, I started a little differently.  I expected to find myself a tenth of a mile from home wheezing and unable to continue.  I did not download the “Couch to 5K” progression chart.  I did not get out the Runner’s World book that teaches you what to eat before a marathon.  I did get new running shoes as my last pair were purchased well before Dante was even a glint in my eye and had caused my feet to grow a full size.  (I was thrilled to find shoes at the local Nike Outlet for $29.97 and an accompanying built-in bra running shirt that was actually sized and fashioned for a woman carrying some dozens of extra pounds and whose chest has been through two pregnancies.  For $7.97.  OK, things were looking up.)

So having not invested too much money or emotion, I stepped out the door.  I told myself that I would walk to the end of our long block to warm up and then jog until I was done and stop.  No pressure.  Then, so totally unexpectedly, I found I had jogged half a mile.  What?  I used the USATF Map It feature twice to make sure it wasn’t lying.  It was not.  It wasn’t easy-peesey but I also was able to breathe steadily the whole time.  Amazing.

My theory is that two things happened. First, I made it through two pregnancies and do a lot of kid carrying I never used to do.  I think that does build up the heart as well as the arms.  So thanks, boys!  You are helping mom stay healthy just by being here with me!  Second, I started Pilates again in July.  I love Pilates…the classical kind, not the find it in every studio and the teacher took a weekend course somewhere kind (perhaps that will be next week’s post…).  Pilates is an intense workout but mostly muscular, not cardio.  Still I think that work in my core and legs helped take some of the strain off the rest of my systems during this jog.

So back to the day of butterflies and sunshine.  It was about 2pm and I had been working at home.  I needed to go to Walgreens and get a prescription.  I USATF Mapped It and saw that Walgreens is 1.16 miles from our house.  I have run precisely 1 full mile in my lifetime.  Never in school – despite every gym teacher’s admonishments.  It was in one of those first three tries at running – and it was miserable.  There is nothing about exercise that had ever released endorphins in my brain.  But I decided to try it.  As unathletic as I am I can walk 2.3 miles so worst case it would just take longer when I broke down and could no longer breathe.

I made it.  I jogged the whole 1.16 miles to Walgreens and did not need paramedic attention upon arrival.  I was even able to converse with the pharmacist on arrival without drawing undo attention to my state. It was like I was reborn as an athlete in my mind – images of 5K’s and “Fun Runs” filled my head (no marathons…I have released myself of that kind of pressure).  I was so pleased I texted Nathan: “Holy sh[oo]t!  I just ran to Walgreens!”

My husband wastes no time calling me.  I think he is calling to tell me he is proud.  I am in conversation with the pharmacist though so I cannot pick up.  I get a text.

”Are you ok?  What happened?  Did you lose control of the car?  Is the van ok?”

I blink at the screen.  I think of how to respond as it sinks in that he isn’t kidding and that the person who knows me best in the world finds it far more probable that I lost control of a minivan trying to park than I ran anything close to a mile.  Ok, so maybe my visions of athleticism will wait yet longer.  But once I explained that I did mean “to” Walgreens not “into” Walgreens he was quite pleased for me.  We chatted as I walked home, enjoying the air and the (truly random) flock of butterflies.

Will I keep it up?  I am hoping that low expectations, small increases in distance, no attention paid to speed and Nathan’s company when we can manage it will keep this recreational.  I will let you know how it goes.  What about you, Reader-Friends?  Any runner’s with helpful hints?  Anyone aspiring like me to be a runner?

Choosing a Toxic Cleaner

A few weeks ago I noticed it was time to wash our fabric show curtain liner.

First, note that we don’t use plastic liners as the vinyl and other plastics in show curtains and liners release a goodly amount of VOC’s when they are new.  Even the newer PEV liners can really only be trashed when they reach the saturation point of hard water and shower residue creating a bulky waste item.  Cloth that is reusable and cleanable is the way to go.  Mostly you will find polyester readily available – not exactly a natural material choice, I know.  Still this gets you two steps into the reduce, reuse, recycle journey.  If you are still using plastic, think about going to cloth on your next replacement.

Second, note that I said I noticed this a couple weeks ago.  And I am writing about it now.  Meaning there was yet more weeks of ick on the curtain.  Here’s the truth about cloth – no matter what you do the bottom that stays wet the longest will eventually host a science experiment’s worth of mold.  I have a couple curtains in rotation so I can get the one in use gone at the first signs of growth.  At that juncture washing is pretty easy – hot water, 7G detergent, hydrogen peroxide as bleach and vinegar rinse.  Dry on low.  So easy.  So granola.  That would have been a couple weeks ago.

So…it wasn’t going to be so easy to clean now as it was when I noticed the issue.  So now what?  Chlorox.

Yes, I said it.  Chlorine bleach tops just about every list of chemicals to get out of your house when you “go green.”  It is a chemical that everyone acknowledges is dangerous.  It is common knowledge that the fumes cause headaches, watery eyes and coughing; that it will burn your skin; and that it will eat through any fabric as well as your insides.  Why have it around?  Well, it also beyond a doubt kills mold and bacteria.  So tucked away in the very back of my very high laundry shelf, there is a small reserve bottle of Chlorox.

It is for moments like these.  And when we replaced our baseboard and found one wall infected with mold.  And after the stomach flu that infected Dante…and all his bedding.

A friend asked me recently how I would handle some cloth diapers that had been through a pretty serious illness with their wearer.  Without much hesitation, I said Chlorox.  I think deep down she wanted to hear that, too.  Some mild exposure to chlorine reside is better than repeating an illness in my mind.

In general I do not recommend chlorine for general household cleaning – especially if you kids or pets who may be effected by the fumes or residues.  The risks of lung, eye and skin irritation and burns are very real.  And the things that frightens me is accidental poisoning.  No, for 99% of my household cleaning, I love using the green basics (vinegar, bon ami, a bottle of 7G multi-purpose).  I have written about it and am really passionate about it.  Not just from chlorine but from many modern products, I don’t want to get headaches and coughs while I clean.  And I don’t want to have toxic residues around to worry about. And I don’t want to contribute to the market demand for unhealthy chemicals or the increase in bacterial resistance born of overuse of antibacterials.  In most cases chlorine is the easiest thing to eliminate by switching to pre-mixed products without chlorine and switching to oxygen bleach in the laundry.  I haven’t missed it at all (of course, I had a pretty strong vendetta against Chlorox after an incident in high school where a brand new deep purple top I was wearing got a bleach spot on it when I was doing laundry).  That being said, sometimes the big guns are warranted.  Like every other part of living a granola life in a fast food world, it is about mindful application of action and product – not totalitarian application of one thing or another.

I am aware of the risks of using chlorine.  I am also aware of its potential.  In weighing those things and eyeing up the pink tinged, should-really-be-white shower curtain I made the call to go with chlorine.  I added an extra rinse from the washer to rid the liner of irritating fumes – and of course no vinegar or other added cleaners lest actually deadly fumes form.

There are a ton of resources out there on the dangers of chlorine – if you aren’t in the know please check them out.  My goal today is more to ask you to reflect – are you mindfully using your cleaning products and choosing the safest, most natural products for job?  To be sure, I could have prevented this situation from getting out of hand…and will in the future, motivated most strongly by not wanting to use a toxic cleaner on a item used by the whole family.  Being mindful of cleaning products is one of the first and most powerful steps to leading a more healthful, granola life.

My bathroom? No...but a girl can dream!

** Thanks to Katy Elliot‘s blog for this bathroom inspiration photo! **

Gratitude

Over time here at tan/green, I have been pretty open that I think there is more to granola living than good food and green cleaning (though those are pretty good staples).  There is a lot of how we live that is based in attitude, beliefs and actions – and those can be “granola-y” or “fast food-y” too.  Tonight I want to say a few things about having an attitude of gratitude.  And be warned: I am going to take the meandering road to say it.  I have been thinking about this post all week because of an email exchange with a staff member but my intentional gratitude started some time before that.

When I returned to work after having Gabriel I was moved into a directorship where I now oversee four departments and about forty people.  It was a big change for me to go from managing a department of…over time…8-14 people to managing managers and their staffs.  There are intense challenges in it and intense expectations from above.  Something that I brought with me from my last position was a shift in mindset that happened a number of years ago when I started managing people as my main job duty instead of managing projects.  You see, my base profession is production management.  Give me a theater production, a festival, a corporate meeting and I will get all the technical, behind-the-scenes stuff together for you.  I still love managing a show – and get to a few times a year.  When I moved into Management with a capital M I had to do some soul searching – was I selling out?  Wasn’t I able to hack it with the big projects? (Background: A big project for me involves about 10 tractor-trailers of all the lights, speakers and video stuff you would see at a rock show.)  The biggest question: if I defined myself as a production manager, what happens if I am instead a department manager?

There were a few answers that came…I could still hack it on a big show and needed to in order to be credible with my staff…and I wasn’t selling out any more than I had when I moved out of non-profit (a whole other post…) and I figured out that being a Manager means being an advocate for my staff in all things and providing for them the best work experience possible.  I got that answer in a roundabout way.  My boss sent me to a seminar for first time managers – the kind of one day seminar that happens in a local hotel and can be worthless or fantastic.  I learned a bunch of things from a very good instructor and one thing has stayed with me solidly: if you are a good manager, you can be a good parent; if you are a good parent, you can be a good manager.  I took from that a redefinition of myself: I was being called to make the best work environment for my staff, just as I would do for a child (I didn’t have any yet at that time).  It was my job – and something I could define myself by – to make sure my staff had what they needed to do their job and knew that it mattered to me (and ultimately our company) that they were doing well.  And I took that as practice for parenting.

What does this have to do with an attitude of gratitude? Telling a staff member when you are thankful for what they are doing or how they are doing it is huge.  Those ten trucks full of stuff don’t assemble and operate themselves, my friends.  My staff put in enormous hours to get shows up and running.  Enter this email exchange that got me thinking.  Our hourly staffers send in a timesheet mid week and a timesheet at the end of the week.  This just helps our accounting staff process everyone into the accounting system by their deadline.  I saw one guy who was on a very challenging project send in his half week sheet with over 60 hours on it.  He had done most of the project but had one big tear out day left – at least 12 hours on site and then some clean up back in our shop.   You do the math – that is a long week.  So I sent a note that said, “Keep it up, man!  Twenty four hours and you will be done!”

He sent back a note thanking me for the encouragement and noting that he and others really appreciate that I appreciate them.  So, as I said, that got me thinking.

As a manager of people and a parent of kids and even a spouse, telling the important people in my life that I appreciate them, am grateful for their efforts and support them is so very essential.  Here’s the thing  (I told it you it was the meandering route tonight) in this fast food world the very small moment it takes to show gratitude often slips by.  That email I sent could not have taken a full minute to type and send.  And yet, it made a tangible difference to someone.  Think about that – how many 25 second moments of gratitude slip by unnoted?

Here is the other thing that makes a difference – the thanks was sincere and specific.  If I make a habit of just saying “thanks for your work” without adding in specifics and tailoring my statement to the situation, the gratitude becomes hollow.  I see this with Dante – he just, just has grasped why he says thank you.  Still so many times he says it by rote, not really thinking about it.  He will get the language eventually, I have no doubt.  In the meantime, I cherish moments like what I saw this morning at church where a friend went out of her way to get Dante some crayons and paper to have in the pew.  He actually stopped what he was doing (nearly impossible for a 2 year old!), looked her in the eye and said thank you.  He really meant it.  Can you thank someone genuinely without a lot of language?  Yes, absolutely, and this is most important thing.  Is it fuller and more meaningful with detail?  Yes, absolutely, please do it as often as you can.

Because I wanted to do well in my work as a Manager, I made a habit of thanking employees in the moment and with specific language.  It is like magic.  People’s whole attitude changes when they are appreciated – sincerely appreciated.  I am trying hard to form the same habit in dealing with Dante and even wee Gabriel.  I thank them not just for being “good” but for “being quiet in church” or “helping me grocery shop.”  I need to do better in creating this same habit with Nathan.

I mentioned that I had been thinking about this post all week – and today as Dante was watching Veggie Tales…one about not wanting too much stuff…one of their little songs seemed just right (and can be heard here):

Because a thankful heart is a happy heart!
I’m glad for what I have,
That’s an easy way to start!

For the love that He shares,
‘Cause He listens to my prayers,
That’s why I say thanks every day!