Penn State

I am Penn State.  I wasn’t when I got there.   I was nearly violently shushed by my mother when on the tour I asked in a not so hushed whisper, “Who is Joe Paterno?”  I figured it out.  I didn’t go to a football game until my junior year.  But as so many have pointed out this week Penn State is more than football.  And let’s be frank, the events of this week are not about football.  They are about a horrible human being brought to account for gut wrenching deeds.  They are about human beings who failed in their morality.  They are about a group protecting fiercely what they have, earned or not – power, money, fame, reputation.  At the root, it is the stuff of every scandal.  In this case it was wrapped up in passing and kicking and also in tuition and state funding.  Maybe naively, I also think it is wrapped up in 30 year old friendships.  Why does it hit those of us who consider ourselves to BE Penn State so hard?

I have wrestled with that all week.  For one, it is a big university in a small town, and everyone knowing everyone means that if you have attended in the last 15 years chances are good you know someone involved on a personal level.  And while many of us watch in horror as abuse stories unfold, knowing someone involved, or feeling like you know them, brings it to a new intensity.  I was physically ill to my stomach for days.

Penn State provided me with an education – both the book kind and the practical kind.  I met so many diverse and amazing people, many who are still dear to me.  I learned how to be a professional.  I found great joy in learning to be a servant leader, one both humble and Penn State proud.   I have carried that with me every day since leaving campus and have been thankful for my time in Happy Valley and all that brought with it.  I went on to graduate school at an Ivy League university and that informed me.  But I have always been clear that Penn State formed me.

After digesting the actual crimes and offenses and assaults, you can see that Sundusky’s behavior follows classic molester behavior patterns.  As someone who works with children in my church I have gone through regular training on how to spot this very pattern, because more often than not a person who has gained trust from the community and then the victims is the successful abuser.  When a situation like this hits close to home, you think about your own world.  Yes, I would love to help every youth in the world avoid being harmed, sexually or violently.  But there are two youth that I must find ways to protect.

As much as anything these events have made me think about what I will tell Dante and Gabriel about “bad touching” and who to trust and when to tell an adult who loves them if something bad has happened and how to avoid situations where they could be taken advantage of.  I remember being young and instructed by my mom about places no one should touch, what to do if someone did, and all that though I don’t remember my age.  I was never tested, thank God.  I pray that the same goes for my boys.  It is so utterly sad that you need to figure out ways to protect children from sexual encounters before they can really understand what sex is and why it could be/will someday be a good thing.  Instead we almost have to start sex ed with our children from a position of what is harmful, painful, inappropriate.  In the recent past, when I have thought about raising my kids in Las Vegas and the inherent dangers, I had always thought, “maybe we need to just move to State College.”

Now, the place so many of us were shaped into adults is forever changed.  Trust is gone in the way the trust in the Catholic Church and any big city are gone.  It just is part of modern life in most places…and now in State College too.  Happy Valley is a place where groups like The Second Mile and THON and Outward Bound bring out the best in students and residents.  Or so we thought.

Perhaps this is part of why this all stings so sharply, much like Kennedy’s Camelot, Penn State existed – for a long time – in a world away from the world at large.  Not so anymore.  The bubble is burst and childhood’s gate is flung open.  Only time will tell if Success with Honor can remain more than a hope, bright and free.